shadowequalsmirrorequalsphysical | 2023
after seeing SighSwoon refer to shadows as her favorite mirror, i became curious about all the ways humans perceive themselves. through a reflection, of course. through the eyes, the usual view being your hands or feet moving about. & in one’s shadow. inspired by this simple observation I had never noticed before, i collected all the images & videos i could find in my archive of my reflection, my shadow, & my eye pov of myself.
this piece is an exploration of all the ways i’ve perceived myself in a physical existence, highlighting the similarities and differences in how they can be assessed. i used mostly video & a few live photos & composed a background melody that captured the essence of the experiences captured. above & below each circle is the label, written twice in different modified fonts, for the category the video belongs to. the first circle is mirror perspectives, the second is physical, & the third is shadow. this piece explores the perspective of the self & captures a little bit of what i look like from my mixed point of view.
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in the bag | 2023
A manifestation piece created to provide comfort when overwhelmed with doubt about taking a chance on one's dream. in an exercise of confidence, i created this piece to show myself another perspective. playing with the well-known phrase "it’s in the bag", this piece explores the opposite of my worries, the positive what-ifs. what if it’s everything I ever hoped for? what if it’s better than I even imagined? what if my relationships grow through this process? what if I grow through this journey?
one image shows a bag made with ojo, or evil eye, beads against a larger ojo background, symbolizing the protective nature of the bag and everything it holds inside. while the other image reveals symbols of presence, connection, happiness, artistic nurturing, play, & growth in the form of chopped up images taken on my adventures where i live now. The contents of the bag offer a hopeful twist on what life could look like for me & help me turn my fear into excitement.
a. three-d self portrait | 2023
i knew my first go at my self-portrait would have to be in the medium of digital 3D. the perspective on my self-portrait is an abstract one, with the subject not being me in a physical form. instead, i chose to bring to life my vision of what I may have looked like before i found myself in the body i am in now. b4 I was given a vessel to live in, back when i was just a spirit existing, or not, out there in the universe.
this piece is a picture of me before I was the me i have come to know in the present. sketched in procreate, sculpted in blender, & the final details added in adobe illustrator, i created a moment from the past. fictional or not, it’s not up for me or anyone else to decide. i want this piece to simply exist as that spirit in the image does, floating through space & time, maybe one day finding itself in a new form.
a. three-d self portrait | 2023
hoMe | 2023
a small blue-painted house with white detailing in downtown San Antonio. It was the house my mom grew up in, & the house i got to do some growing up too. a place where, even amidst the instability of my life around me, i always felt safe, loved, & free to be myself. mis abuelos poured love into every crack & crevice, & when we were there, it felt like there was hope for our future. a two-story, white brick suburban home. a symbol of freedom & the ability to listen and be heard by the ones i love. finally able to choose our home, my siblings & i embraced a life with our mom here. these houses were a mark of safety and liberation for me: my grandparents house, a lighthouse in a rough sea, & my home now, a wish fulfilled through perseverance.
dinners as we spun | 2023
using the mediums of food, photography, sound, & video, i took a photo of the dinner I made with my mom each night. later in the evening, i created a simple melody in GarageBand on my phone that captured the energy of the day i had experienced. i repeated this practice every night during the period my family went through while trying to figure out how to adjust to our new reality, one with a missing brother. a consistent practice in an inconsistent & unstable period of my life.
each dish spins on the screen clockwise, representing the passage of time. meanwhile, the changing melodies record the essence of each day & play over an alternating background, capturing the repetitive, trance-like cycle i experienced from day to day. these aspects mix softly with the obvious changes in dishes each day, which represent all the observable changes i felt as time passed. since this piece was created consistently throughout my journey, you can even hear how the key of the music fluctuates between lower & higher keys, expressing the variation in how I felt throughout the process. to me, it serves as a reminder that, regardless of external circumstances, peace can be found in the smallest details of life.
mira(ge)mar | 2023
inspired by the daydreams of my childhood, a collage style piece exploring the feelings of yearning, enthusiasm, & optimism over the course of eight years, using a childlike style to explore the imaginative nature of a kid growing up dreaming about a life filled with her own choices. using photos i took of the neighborhood i live in now, i put together a moodboard from the present & for the past. for the bb niña who wished & waited to live the simple dream i’m living now.
images cut in shapes & put together to form an oasis, representing how for the longest time, the idea of this life being real felt like it was nothing but a mirage in the desert. equal parts demotivating & inspiring. you can see it, in a wobbly form, a life that could be if one is patient enough. slowly details are added & playful elements like stickers show how it turns out even better than you imagined.
mira(ge)mar oasis
